Informed Consent

"You have to go. We all have to go."

"Nope."

"You can't sit up here for all eternity."

"I can and I will. I just have to stay away from the edge so that no one pushes me."

"At least the edge has a view. If you stay holed up here, you'll never see anything interesting."

"Interesting is a shallow word for what goes on down there."

"I believe we're supposed to say 'out there'. There's not really any 'down there' anymore."

"Oh, yeah. The latest mental upgrade. What really needs upgrading is our options package."

"What difference does it make? We don't have to stay out there forever."

Well, I don't know about that. Over time, I've noticed that some Takeoffs are not showing up again. Where are they? They should be back by now even if they lived for a hundred and fifty years."

"None of us live that long out there."

"Exactly! So where are they?"

"Well, like who?"

"Okay. Where is Slick? Where are Panderer and Mirage?"

"You're right. I haven't seen them for a long time. On the other hand, this is a big place and they're probably elsewhere."

"Elsewhere. I'm starting to suspect that there is an actual Elsewhere where you wind up if you don't make it back here. I'm just sayin' "

"Hey. Look! A shooting star."

"It's actually a meteor. See what I mean? You don't even remember your native tongue once you've been out there."

"You're wrong. Happily, I am now bilingual. You like to talk. That's something you could look forward to."

"What I want to know before I go is what it will be like. What will be my personal experience. Will I be tall, short, male, female, handsome, beautiful, homely, rich, poor, healthy, sick, sane or demented? Also, where on the planet will I pop up?"

"No, no. The way it works is that you pop out. Wait. There is the cesarean method."

"Same difference."

"As a matter of fact, it's usually more of a slide."

"Stop it!"

"You've been holed up so long that you're not getting the current information about the transition to 'out there'. For instance, it's no longer necessary to go to the edge and take off. An additional system is now in place. Actually, it's for spirits like you who want to avoid the transition. What happens is that beneath the reluctant spirit a space opens up and you fall."

"What the . . . HEYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!"

"See you in a while, my friend. Safe landing."

. . .

"Mrs. Dankworth, the baby seems reluctant to be born. He appears to be holding on to something inside you. The doctor has never seen this before. He's going to reach in with forceps. Try to relax. Have you thought what you'll name him when we finally get him out of there?"

"You know he's already a month late. We were thinking of Amharod. It's Welsh."