Once Upon A Time

Once upon a time, there was a three-toed sloth with a magically rotating head named Almudena. She lived in a cecropia tree where she feasted on luscious leaves while using her long claws to hang out of the way of Torment and Evil on the ground below. Torment and Evil were said to be siblings abandoned at birth by their mother resulting in scattered values. Protean, they assumed many shapes such as jaguars, large birds of prey, snakes and humans. Especially on the ground, the Proteans had the advantage of speed. Compared to them, Almudena moved very slowly.

Almudena moved so slowly that green algae grew on her fur which gave her coarse, brownish-gray coat a greenish hue during the rainy season. The algae was a gift that allowed her to blend in among the trees. Staying out of sight was her best defense against predators, especially jaguars and harpy eagles. Except for the days when she had to go down to poop - every seven days or so - Almudena's life was spent eating and sleeping and looking around.

After a poop, climbing from the ground into the cecropia tree was mentally excruciating. Almudena was always ready to be attacked . . . always watching. Once when she was small and still clinging to her mother, Almudena had her first opportunity to swim. It was exciting because she could move so quickly in the water. Her mother explained that if she could not save herself from something that was pursuing her in the treetops, drop into the water below and swim for all she was worth. Almudena was advised that she could also do this dropping at her leisure if she just wanted to explore where she lived, move away, or find a fella.

Almudena was so often waking from a recent nap that she had never yet felt the need to explore, move away or find a fella. She slept a lot and she slept long, either hanging from her claws or curled into a ball in the fork of her favorite tree. It was her favorite tree because it was where she had been born and had lived with her mother. Her mother often frightened Almudena by telling her during a thunderstorm that if her mouth were open at the same time they saw the lightning her breath would catch fire. She remembered that she had stayed with her mother a long time, so long that she could not remember how long. Almudena did not remember her mother leaving and did not know where she was. She did remember that at some point her mother seemed to get grumpy and then she was gone.

Recently Almudena heard females around her yelling a shrill monotone scream. Soon a number of males showed up and some of them were hanging by their feet and swiping at each other. She noticed one of the males left the area with a bloody eye. Baby sloths always showed up after the male sloths left so that Almudena had been careful not to scream and draw attention to herself. She was not sure how long she could keep up the not screaming, but for now she was certain that she did not want a baby sloth interfering with her own naps.

Almudena immensely enjoyed her naps because when napping she dreamed that she was on the ground and safe. While she was dreaming, even Torment and Evil did not seem to have any power over her. As a matter of fact they had explained that those names were slander and a bad rap because they themselves were actually only functionaries of universal fundamental laws. Neither their mother nor Almudena’s mother had abandoned anyone. It was just a life thing that cycled thousands year old stardust from the garden of stardust to here and back again.

"Here?"

"Sure. The cecropia tree, the forest where you poop, the river. Everywhere. Here."

"Oh."

"When you have to poop, just enjoy it. Be careful, of course. But should you not make it back to your home in the treetops, there is another home waiting for you. The garden. You will eventually make it back to the garden and we are all waiting to help you get there. Many of us will even meet you there."

"What's the garden like?"

"Bigger than your cecropia tree."

"My goodness!"

"In the meantime, you are one of the fortunate who, when you die, will teem with other life. You will be part of a vast and complex ecosystem that flourishes and evolves."

"Die?"

"What you are trying to escape when you retreat to your tree."

"What does 'die' feel like?"

"It stings a little, but not for long."

"Where does the other life come from?"

"Some of us already live inside you. Some others come from abroad."

"Oh my."

"The energy that now exists in your sloth body will eventually become an island of new life of many kinds. The energy will be released into a wider universe. Nothing of you will be lost. It is a delightful process."

"Process?"

"Ashes to ashes and dust to dust. Humans thought of the phrase. The words are a simplification, but they work."

Almudena had this dream more than once. She was given the same advice each time.

"Of course, if you are threatened by jaguars, harpy eagles, snakes or humans, you must try to escape - remember the water. You, after all, have a life to live. But if you find yourself in their clutches, just close your eyes . . . wait for the sting. When you open your eyes again, you will be in the garden of stardust. See you there."

Almudena lived happily ever after.